Week 13 Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful,Loving, Harmonious, Happy, Generous of Spirit, Confident & Self Reliant!

 

 

I guess I am just not enlightened enough.  When someone hurts me and disrespects me I find it hard to remain positive, even if I manage to handle my response, especially when it is a situation I cannot get away from to gain space for perspective, or circumstances make it impossible for me to detach at this point in my life journey.

The kicker?  I have been doing really good for an extended period of time despite circumstance.  I was doing good this morning and most the day.   Circumstances had not changed much but attitude and things around me had improved.

I was starting to relax thinking my change inside had improved my outer circumstance to the point of settling down without the chaotic flair ups and meanness that were tearing me apart.  That I had affected change or maybe I had.

I dropped my guard, my vigilance.  (old blueprint auto action when things flow well in succession for a short time.)

Now out of the blue, I find myself in a sad place, angry and fighting giving into despair.     In the blink of an eye….  Recognizing the old blueprint is not helping with the deep hurt, feelings of loss and isolation, or freeing myself from its shackles.  

It makes me want to throw up my hands and quit.  What’s the point? Nothing has changed.  (old blueprint) I know.

BUT, it has!  I have changed if nothing else has changed.  I’m thinking through the pain, the hurt, and reasoning with myself.  I’m climbing up not staying down.  Yeah, I’m sad, still feel alone and am still wrestling with pain a little, yet I am already better.  The change is within me.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

The situation that surrounds me does not matter because I will persist until I succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

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Author: Juneta

Speculative Fiction Author Gothic Space Opera, Paranormal Fantasy and Sci-fi Fantasy, short stories and flash fiction. JunetaKey (dot) com Writer's Gambit Learning, growing becoming a better me.

2 thoughts on “Week 13 Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful,Loving, Harmonious, Happy, Generous of Spirit, Confident & Self Reliant!”

  1. My beautiful friend, you persist you succeed…just the simple act of persisting, staying committed to quality…that is succeeding. You should be proud of yourself, I am 🙂

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