Week 22 Magician King


I’d like to be flowery, elegant, wise, insightful and more educational as I post my reflections like I see on so many other blogs but when it’s personal to me, as in I’m going through it now,  it just flows in a straight up a simple manner.  When its close to me I don’t have the detachment of my natural philosophying thought process because it’s like my vision is limited until hindsight or much distance is established.

Our focus in these last week around turning negative emotion such as fear, anger, unworthiness, guilt, hurt feelings, and any other into tools we can use to achieve our dreams has been interesting.

It’s amazing to me in trying how this makes me stop just a second in the middle of ongoing chaos to catalog and helps me keep my mouth shut when speaking would only expedite and up the anty.

I’ve been dealing with feelings of helplessness, feeling trapped and stuck, due to loss of choice and means and others judgments on a personal level generating feelings of anger, hurt feelings, and fear which load the feeling of unworthiness.   I tend to turn negative emotion inward and to self-sabotage.

Funny how this stuff layers, but when you dig underneath the immediate emotions-reactions you uncover and identify the basic more specific feelings because they are all interrelated.

When someone accuses or criticizes you harshly or in anger the immediate and natural reaction is defense and respond back in like manner.  It becomes a blame game, word twist and can get mean depending on the situation and people involved.  Huge hurts can result including demoralization and unworthiness.

Those kinds of emotions can paralyze and affect your confidence, moral and perspective on life in general sometimes even your ability to function in daily life.

As we all know WORDS are power=energy they shape the world around us but more important they shape YOUR world.   They shape your essence because they can affect the way you think about yourself unless you understand it is your inner by play that damages YOU the worst, not the words spoke to you, although they matter and do affect the world just as yours do, but not as much as your own do your personal world.

You are the Magician King-Queen in your own world.

It was when I stopped trying to assign blame and waiting for someone else to change or behave better and I changed “my reaction from within” using the tools given us by MKE  that things actually improved because I affect other people too.  I matter!!   I have power!!!  I effect change on MY World always!  I am magic.  My power is as vast and great as I can imagine and all that I see I can affect.

Changing the way I thought, my reactions, gave me more consistency breaking away from the emotional yo-yo ride that was defeating me and destroying me while it held me hostage and imprisoned within my own world.

Changing helped me apply logic and reason shutting down, or at least controlling, the emotional reaction so I could see the real truth and apply solid reason and fairness with love to my decisions and MY actions.

Thought sets in motion actions which generate energy in turn affecting the world around you as you focus in a diligent and aware manner.   This is you/me taking responsibility for our own reactions and emotions no matter the situation, the instigation or source of chaos.

You don’t even realize in the moment that you are playing the blame game inside your head when hurt and anger dominate your thoughts unless you learn to focus and see the evidence of selective and aware thought put in motion by your reactions/actions.  It boggles the mind to realize how unaware even the most enlightened can be in their own world for lack of understanding on how awareness and power work.



When CHAOS erupts in the world around me.

Inside my head as I face off with anger, accusation, and blame.

It’s a litany:   I love you, I love you, I love, I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you, thank you, thank you, thank you, I forgive me, I forgive me, I forgive me, I love me, I love me, I love me, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! (yes say it in threes)

Thanks to my beautiful and brilliant friend Ellen Miller for introducing me to this idea.  

It is a process of awareness taking inner action that sets energy in motion transmuting the world around me and transforms me.

The words triggered a calming effect halting the auto-reactions of emotional rubbage that normally pours forth escalating the situation and causing residual damage.

Magic, Change, Miracles

The miracle.  Life is more harmonious on a daily ongoing basis of late.  I find my peace faster.  I stopped dwelling, forgetting about it almost as soon as it is over, no matter what it is.   This is still an ongoing learning experience, so I struggle more often than I don’t, but the magic is it is becoming less and less.

I seek to create my harmony and bliss within.  I find I laugh more. I did not realize how long it had been since I laugh with genuine merriment until I did.    I had robbed myself of laughter.   I didn’t realize I was doing it until I took responsibility for my own emotions and thoughts.

Yes, it is a miracle.    I live more in the light and less and less in that dark place of pain, loss and without laughter.  This is the beginning of my journey but the future looks miraculous, full of weath in every area of life.

I am grateful and thankful for my life.  I am blessed.  I am magic.


I loved this book.  It helps with understanding how habits work, how they emerge, the neurology of habit, and looks at research studies examples and habits of societies.  The theme circles around and show that–Habits Can Be Changed.  Habits actually change the brain.  Habits are the “rote” allowing the brain not to think–power down–meaning you do them unaware you do them, and in not recognizing or understanding why you do them no conscious thought-out decision or intention is made.  You’re on autopilot.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life And Business by Charles Duhigg.






This book is a very enjoyable read, not monotonous at all or overly technical.  The end of Chapter 1 had me crying, lol.  A self-help book actually affected my emotions like a fictional story might.  WOW..

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